New Beginnings

The day before the election I discovered I was going to be a mother. The day of the election was a surreal piece of the present while I tried so hard to imagine what the future might bring. But my hopes and dreams for the future became far greater than any one man or administration might bring. In the future I want my child to be able to enjoy the flight of a bird in front of a snow covered mountain as the golden sun begins to rise on the day. I want there to be more happiness than suffering. More joy than sorrow. For this one child and the world. It’s as simple as that, as big and as small. So when I see suffering now I take it even more personally. While before my determination to resolve some of it left me feeling depleted, because there was no way I could make a big enough dent in all the problems I could see, now I know I have to try, and that trying is a part of my own life.

I had practically given up on politics. I didn’t see any solutions within it. But now I’m more open to any possibility that might bring about a better kind of future and a happier today. I can’t give up now, because I have to believe in a world where people can function together compassionately within it. Even if it’s not a reality, I have to grab onto every grain of peace and beauty I can find so I can hold it all together in my home and present a vision of what the world might be to this little bean within me that will be human.

I’ll be back with more soon, probably more pictures, probably more words. But it’s taking me a little while to adjust to the beat of my new life. I think every life has it’s own rhythm, it’s own drumbeat in the background. My body now contains two heartbeats, mine and another’s, and I find that my drumbeat is dancing a bit irregularly as well. So when I adjust a bit more, and am able to move with it I’ll pick out a melody and try to sing whatever comes out. In the meantime, I’ll stare at the birds, try to see the sunrise as often as possible, and watch the inauguration with enough sight to remember it for two.